Marriage Made In Space
by Basmathgirl
Summary: This is a sequel to A Tale of a Few View Cams. Donna and the Doctor have accidentally got married and try to enjoy it.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning:** Contains swear words (one bad one) and scenes of a honeymoon nature. And there is a reference to my webcam fic, Chapter 3.

**Summary:** The Doctor and Donna accidentally get married and try to start their honeymoon, but it goes a bit wrong.

**Disclaimer:** The BBC owns Doctor Who; always have, and probably always will.

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**Chapter 1**

Donna opened one eye to see the Doctor standing next to her. "Morning!" he breezily greeted her.

"Morning. I wonder if I'll ever get used to it?" she mumbled from her pillow.

"Used to what?" he scrunched his face up in thought.

He really was so bright in the morning he needed a dimmer switch, Donna thought. "You standing over me like that when I wake up. It's still a bit creepy."

"How about this then?" and he bounced onto the bed next to her and laid down.

She laughed, "Well, at least that's different! Been waking up larks while you're about it, have you?"

"No. Should I seek one out then?" the grin he flashed at her told her he knew exactly what she had meant. "So, do I get my good morning kiss yet?" He hovered over her mouth.

"Oh… erm… can we do that somewhere other than on the bed?" she eyed him suspiciously.

"Why? I'm keeping my hands away from dangerous territories, as you call them, though I'm inclined to describe them as endangered species at this rate." He showed her his hands to prove his point.

"You just continue keeping yourself to yourself and you won't be endangered," she warned from underneath the covers.

"But Donna! It's starting to hurt!" he whined.

"Never mind, Spaceman, eh?" she patted him on the trousers.

"Aargh! You minx!" he bit out. "You wouldn't like it if I did the same to you!"

"Certainly wouldn't! For a start, it wouldn't do anything for me!" she giggled.

"Ha ha ha. You are just being cruel, and taking advantage of me," he gave her a daggered look.

"Oh, but I'm not; that's your problem from what I can see," she swept her gaze up him.

"That's it!" he leaned his weight on top of her, pinning her under the covers. "I will have that kiss and you will like it!"

"Is this you being all strong and dominant, oh husband of mine?" she stroked his sideburns and allowed him a small sensual kiss.

"What?" he asked distractedly. "Yeah, all of the above," he added, as he enticed her with another kiss. "Excellent husband material, naturally."

"In that case, have you sorted out where we're going on honeymoon?" Donna breathed against his mouth.

"Oh yeah, almost forgot, what with all the…," he tore himself away from her. "I have an idea for somewhere. Do you want it to be a surprise?"

"Of course I do! You do know me, right?" she laughed.

"I'd like to get to know you a little bit better," he waggled his eyebrows suggestively at her, causing her to swot his arm playfully.

"All good things come to those who wait," she giggled when she saw his answering pout. "Go on, go set the coordinates. I know you're dying to. And I'll love anywhere you choose, as long as there are no gunky monsters to try and eat me."

"No gunky monsters coming right up!" he announced as he pulled himself gracefully off the bed.

"Whilst you're doing that I'd better record a message for Gramps. He'll think we've disappeared down a hole if I don't update him regularly." She considered him still standing by her bed, "Well, go on then! I'm not putting on a show for you while I get dressed."

"Are you sure? 'Cos I'm prepared to wait a bit longer," he tried, but her glare made him rethink it. "Okay, I'm going now. Don't be too long though."

"Aw! How sweet! Anyone would think you love me," Donna beamed widely at him. "Now bugger off! There's a good boy!"

"Yes dear!" mockingly echoed back at her from the corridor as he headed for the console room.

Having dressed, recorded her camcorder message, and made sandwiches for their jaunt, Donna joined the Doctor in the console room to find out what destination he had picked.

"How does the planet Drulise sound? It has beautiful beaches, fabulous mountains, and wonderful food," he offered her as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

"What's wrong with it?" she pulled a cynical face at him, "Come on, there's always a down side."

"Since you ask, there is a teeny problem with it you might not like," he checked her expression before continuing. "The natives are a bit… erm… snake like."

"Snakes!" Donna was horrified.

"And they tend to communicate by tasting you," he added, knowing that this destination was slipping away from his grasp.

"Well, that totally makes up my mind," she stated.

"I thought so," he sighed resignedly. "Oh, I know! How about Ngumo, the natives there are awfully sweet; they're like puppies!"

"What about the planet itself?" asked Donna.

"Erm… a bit dark and, to be honest, there are a lot of swamps," he rubbed the back of his neck in exasperation.

"Cross that one off the list, shall we?" she caressed his chest consolingly.

The Doctor's eyes flickered with a new interest, "We could always…"

"No. We are going out of the TARDIS to a new world. You promised." She firmly told him, but she nuzzled into his neck to show him she wasn't really angry.

"I swear you are trying to kill me! Okay, we'll go out somewhere, but I've run out of ideas; you keep distracting me. Shall we ask the TARDIS to decide?" the Doctor placed a kiss into her hair before trying to capture her lips again.

"Yeah, go on then." Donna squealed when he bent her over backwards to kiss down her neck, "I meant the honeymoon, you prawn, not the…"

He let go of her abruptly, "I knew that! Right, one honeymoon coming up." He moved to the console and pressed the random button.

The TARDIS materialized reasonably smoothly for a change, though the Doctor insisted on holding onto Donna just in case. Hand in hand, they headed down the ramp and through the doors; already smiling at what they hoped would greet them.

They had not expected to find themselves onboard what was obviously a spaceship. Metal grills greeted them everywhere, and the inevitable corridors. Why did spacecraft have so many corridors when living space was at a premium? Well, it was a question Donna wanted answering. "How romantic!" she quipped drily.

"Extremely. So where do you fancy first? The beach or the hotel?" he asked. He pulled her close and whispered, "Sorry."

"That's okay, I'm sure the control room is lovely this time of year." She reached up to kiss him, "Any where will be fine as long as it isn't yet another cell."

"As long as it doesn't have a vaporising holding field, eh?" he smirked as he remembered an earlier accident. "I don't think I'll manage to avert my gaze this time."

"I'm not convinced you managed it the first time!" she laughed softly. "I'm sure you had a quick ogle."

"I never said I didn't. I'd be mad not to," he kissed her back, taking his time to enjoy pressing her body against his. "I think we ought to go and find our hosts, and get this adventure on the road, don't you?" He gently guided her towards the more impressive end of the corridor they stood in, and they followed the twinkly lights.

The first person they met was a very startled being who looked exactly like how Donna imagined Mole to look in "Wind in the Willows". "Who are you?" the being demanded. "Where did you come from?"

"Hello!" breezed the Doctor stepping forward with an outstretched gesture. "I'm the Doctor, and this is Donna."

"I'm Gwindon," the startled being replied.

"Nice to meet you, Gwindon," the Doctor took his hand/paw and shook it. "We were wondering if there was… erm… any trouble about."

"Not that I know of," Gwindon cautiously answered. "I think the Captain ought to see you two."

"What a wonderful idea!" schmoozed the Doctor. "I'm sure he'd want to see us as well."

Gwindon looked at him as if he were completely insane, "Come this way."

Donna took the Doctor's hand and they chatted about inane things whilst Gwindon led them along the corridor. They weren't surprised that Gwindon made no attempt to join in or look at them.

They also weren't surprised when alarm bells started going off as they entered the control room where the Captain sat in a typically superior-looking chair. Jean-Luc Picard would have been proud, Donna thought.

"What is it, Gwindon?" the Captain growled. Does that make him Badger, Donna wondered?

"Captain, I found these two beings wandering on the second deck," Gwindon informed him.

The Captain turned his attention onto the pair of them, "Who are you?" The growl was low and menacing.

"Hello! I'm the Doctor and this is Donna," he started the charm offensive. "I see you're having a spot of bother," he pointed to the alarms, "do you want me to have a look?"

"Why should I?" the Captain really was feeling friendly today.

"Because I'm the Doctor," he simply stated.

"It's true," Donna put in, "he can help!" She grinned at the Doctor lovingly, and took his hand.

"I will never trust a Kyreen!" the Captain insisted.

"Oh, but we're not…," the Doctor didn't have a chance to finish that sentence because a sheet of some sort was thrown over both of their heads from behind.

As they were dragged away, they heard the Captain remark, "These stowaways are responsible for the fluxone levels escalating. Take them to the holding cell!"

'Oh great! Another cell!' Donna thought, just before blackness overtook her, and she went out like a light.

She awoke in a bedchamber that was extremely basic. She groaned as residual pain in her head hit her, and she turned to examine the room for clues, and a familiar presence. "I take it we didn't quite make it to the nearest Hilton Hotel?" she murmured seeing the Doctor sitting on the bed next to her. The colour theme of the room was grey and dust; Donna felt that the interior designer ought to be shot.

The Doctor wiped stray hair out of her eyes, "Sorry, but they were full up. This was all I could find."

"Ah well, you pay your money and you take your choice. What did I expect on £5 a day, eh?" she winced as she tried to sit up, and he rushed forward to help her.

"Are you okay?" he kissed her forehead. "You look a bit pale."

"How can you tell that from my normal paleness?" she teased. "I might be vibrant underneath this pallor."

"Are you questioning my observations? I do indeed know you are vibrant, among other things," he took hold of her head and placed gentle kisses beneath her ear.

"I'm questioning your timing, that's for certain! I don't think you ought to be doing that right here right now," she panted. He was making her body react in a way that inconsiderate in the circumstances.

"Should I stop?" he asked from against her neck.

"Only if we're being watched," she gasped. "And what is that horrible smell?" she pulled herself away from him, moving her head about to seek the smelly source.

"It's not that horrible, but it is unusual." He got off the bed with her, and began roaming the room too.

"Donna, come away from that vent!" he demanded. He could see the foul gas swirling around her.

"Why? I think that smell is coming from over here! Don't you want to know where it is coming from now?" she turned her astonished and accusing gaze onto him.

"Yes. But I know what that smell is." He tried not to raise his voice.

"Okay. Care to share with the class?" her anger was evident now.

"It's an aphrodisiac. They're pumping in an aphrodisiac." He saw her stare at him as if he had gone off his rocker.

"A what? They're doing what?" she repeated, trying to get a fix on the idea. "Why would they do that?"

"Perhaps it's their idea of entertaining? Who knows?" he moved round the bed to her. "Is it affecting you in any way?" He rubbed his hands down her arms while examining her eyes.

"I'm not… sorry, what were we saying? You were…," she caressed her way up his chest to end up stroking his face. "You are the most gorgeous man I have ever seen."

The Doctor went a deep red, "I… er… Donna, I think you've been drugged, and…"

Donna pulled his head down to her, with one hand, to sensually kiss him, whilst the other hand had crept to his shirt buttons and had begun to undo them. "Do you want to come and play for a little while?" she purred at him.

"I certainly do, only not here, love," he attempted to do his buttons back up. "And when did you…? Oh Donna! That is a beautiful bra! Where did you buy…?" his attention wavered for a few minutes. "Come on, do yourself back up, you'll thump me for this later if we carry on…," Donna waylaid him with another passionate kiss. "I'm not going to manage to hold-off much longer if you do that! Now play fair! I wasn't doing that to you!" he dragged himself away from her and drastically looked round the room for something that would help his plight. Donna grabbed him from behind, wrapping her arms around his waist while her hands travelled downwards, which did not help matters.

"My my you've grown," she drove all coherent thought out of his head as she spoke and acted so seductively.

"Donna, darling, please…," he begged as they landed on the bed after he'd tried to get away from her.

"What would you like me to do first?" she straddled him.

"To get off me!" he ground out as she licked his neck. Boy, were the different parts of his brain at war now!

She froze, "What? You don't want to play with me?"

He leant up to kiss her stricken face, "Not here. Please love, not here!" Seeing reason starting to reassert itself in her mind, he added, "The security guards will love this too much otherwise."

"They're doing what?" she almost jumped off him in her haste, and whirled around the room, seeking out the positions of the cameras that were obviously located in the room. "You sick bastards!" she yelled. "Me and my husband will sue the backsides off you when we get out of here!"

"Donna, that isn't helping us," he pointed out.

"It's making me feel loads better!" she angrily replied. "I'll tear him limb from limb; the demonic wanker who had the idea for this little escapade! Had your fun yet!" she yelled at the cameras. He had to agree that she did look menacing enough to carry out her threat.

A couple of minutes later there was a tentative knock on the door, and a note pushed under it. The Doctor swung himself off the bed and picked it up to read. He smiled delightedly as he did so. "It seems you have frightened them enough on camera for them to apologise! They want me to hold you back so that they can open the door, and negotiate our release terms. Well, that's a first. I was expecting it to be harder to get out of here," he beamed at her.

He handed her the note, which she pretended to read since it might as well be hieroglyphics for the sense it made to her. She did manage to guess which symbol stood for her, oddly enough. "What do we have to do now then?" she asked incredulously.

"I'm assuming meet up with the Captain again, have a talk, and hightail it out of here, if that note is genuine," he held out a hand to her. "Care to be suitable restrained Ms Noble?"

"How come I'm a Ms all of a sudden? Doesn't that make me a divorcee or a career woman? Why can't I be a Mrs?" she glared at him.

"I don't know! It seemed appropriate; sorry I got it wrong," he took hold of her arm. "What do you want to be called now?"

"I wasn't going to choose Slartibartfast!" she joked. "I dunno, now I come to think of it; Mrs Noble or Mrs Doctor seems the most logical."

He pretended to restrain her from attacking the guard standing near the now-open door, for their amusement, "Do you need to add me like that? Only you are an extremely independent woman."

"You've noticed that have you, that I'm a woman? Can't get anything past you, can I?" she smirked, enjoying several guards keeping out of her way as they headed down a corridor. "How about you taking my name for a change; get away from all that Smith business?"

"I can do that," he escorted her through a doorway. "Would make a pleasant change, actually."

"Thought it would," she managed to add as they arrived back in front of the Captain.

"Hello again!" the Doctor greeted the Captain.

"You did not tell me you were not Kyreen!" the Captain accused them. "You are only human!" he said, as if being human was the equivalent of being a slug or lower.

"What d'you mean o-…," Donna began to wind-up; but the Doctor cut across her rant, taking the wind from her sails.

"Nope, we're definitely not Kyreen. I take it that would be bad, do I?" he looked hopefully at the Captain. "So, we'll be off, if that's okay, and you've sorted out your fluxone levels. Good, and you might want to keep an eye on your hetronium readout while you're about it." He turned to Donna, "Are you coming, Madam? Our chariot awaits."

"Just make sure you pick somewhere a little better for our next attempt at a honeymoon, will you?" she took his proffered arm, and they made for the corridor again before another "Wind in the Willows" character could stop them.

"I still don't think we need to actually leave the TARDIS," he complained.

"And I want to go somewhere we'll remember for the rest of our lives. I know you think it's a waste of time but…," she argued.

"I never said it's a waste of time, I was merely suggesting we pursue other things first," he pouted.

"Other things, or me in particular?" she kissed his cheek, as they disappeared down the corridor towards the TARDIS.

Gwindon gave the Captain a secretive smile. "I think I may be in love. She gave me food," he confided as he watched the couple vanish from view, patting his pocket that held the sandwiches Donna had made. "I wonder if he'll sell her?"

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	2. Chapter 2

**Warning:** Contains not much plot, mild swear words and scenes of a honeymoon nature.

**Summary:** The Doctor and Donna continue their honeymoon attempt, but it goes a bit wrong.

**Disclaimer:** The BBC owns Doctor Who; always have, and probably always will.

**A/N:** The UK creator/presenter for "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire" is Chris Tarrant, if anyone out there doesn't know.

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**Chapter 2**

Getting back to the TARDIS proved to be no problem at all, but they restrained their giggles until they were safely onboard; and they made their way into the vortex.

"Did you see Gwindon's face? I think I've made a friend for life!" Donna boasted.

"Only because you did your usual thing of feeding people up," protested the Doctor. "It's not as if you flashed your…"

"My…?" prompted Donna. She moved around the console to playfully prod him in the shoulder.

"Your awesomeness?" he suggested as he became aware of possible impending damage. "I think that's my final answer, Chris."

"You don't want to phone a friend, or ask the audience?" she pressed against him, knowing it was acting as a distraction for him.

"No, I think I'll take the prize if it's still being offered." He wrapped himself around her taking her lack of violence as agreement. "Do you want to come up and see my etchings?"

"Hmm, now that you mention it, no!" she giggled. His puppy-dog expression made her amend this quickly, "But I would love to see your collection of… erm… 'World of Warcraft' figurines."

"You would!" he brightened considerably. "Only I got hold of some…"

Donna put her hand over his mouth to stop him mid sentence, "I didn't exactly mean that." This was greeted with a puzzled expression. "Oh for the love of…! Show me your best moves, Spaceman!" she nodded her head towards the corridor, and hence the bedroom. "Or do I need to draw you a map?"

"Oh! In that case," he bent down and lifted her easily in one swoop, "I have something to show you!" Ignoring her sneering protests about being too heavy, he carried her through to his bedroom.

Several hours later, Donna found herself held securely within his embrace as he slept. Wow! It had been quite spectacular for a first time, not that she was going to admit that to him unless it was under pain of death. And she wasn't sure if she'd let his ego have that fact even then! He looked incredibly cute up close and asleep; she could see his long lashes and masses of freckles on his pale skin. In that respect, they were almost a matching pair. As she examined him, he opened his eyes and grinned at her.

"Having a nice dream, where you?" she wondered.

"No, unless you being here is a dream," he gave her a squeeze.

"Not a nightmare then? Good. I might stay a bit longer," she caressed his face having given in to the urge to do so.

"Stay as long as you like. I'm sure we'll find something to do to pass the time," he leered at her as he began to enjoy the closeness of her body, secure in the knowledge he would not be slapped for having wandering hands.

"Is it me, or has my naughty breast just fallen under your hand?" Donna pointed out as she looked down at herself.

"Well, your breasts are very undisciplined," the Doctor stated matter of factly. He shifted to get a better look.

"Undisciplined? Do they need punishing?" she quizzed.

"No, just taking into hand," he acted on his words. "As does the rest of you."

"Really? And you're the man to do it, are you?" she wriggled under his touch, glorifying in the effect he had on her.

"No, I'm the Time Lord to do it," he confirmed, taking command of her body.

"At least I'm finally getting part of a honeymoon," she breathlessly told him. "There'd better be more to come."

"Oh, I think I can easily promise that one!" he mischievously smiled.

The universe narrowed down to just the two of them for a while.

They sat later in the kitchen happily munching on beans on toast. "How do you manage to get your baked beans so tomato-y?" he asked, sipping his accompanying cup of tea.

"If you let out my secret I may have to kill you, but I opened a tin and voilà!" admitted Donna.

"Wow! Are you related to Michel Roux?" he teased.

"Second cousin," she lied. "Or is it Basil Fawlty I'm related to? I'm not sure which is better."

"Marginally better than Sybil Fawlty, you have to admit," he said.

"Ooh, I know!" and they both laughed.

"There's something else I need to say," he began.

"Don't mention the Germans?" offered Donna. "You've found the Fallen Madonna with the big boobies?"

"You stupid woman!" the Doctor laughed, "No, I meant about our next destination."

"Oh, the honeymoon. What about it?" she gave him all her attention.

He leant closer to her, "How do you fancy liquid pools of crystal clear water, total isolation so that we can skinny-dip if we want, and fascinating wildlife?"

She kissed the tip of his nose, "There are lots of things I fancy right now, but that sounds wonderful. Don't tell me… it's the north coast of Scotland or somewhere equally cold!"

"Hmm, it might be like that at certain times of their year, but I've chosen a warm period," he kissed her mouth, "without anything resembling dinosaurs before you ask."

"Bugger! That was my next question," she kissed him back; "you are getting to know me too well."

"I did warn you what my intentions were," he deepened their kisses, "do I need to remind you?"

"Just get me back in the bedroom," she ordered him as she responded to his embrace.

"I bet you're glad I can be an obedient husband," he pulled her up out of her chair and guided her towards their bed. He assumed it was officially their bed now since she seemed to have staked it out as such. Not that he minded, not in the slightest.

After a quick… erm… constitutional, they dressed and made their way to the console room. The Doctor set the coordinates for the planet of his choice and then twirled round to impress Donna.

"Mrs Donna Noble, let me introduce you to the planet Cladroon: the jewel in the crown of the Sircious Constellation. Home to beautiful waters, wonderful wildlife and now temporary home to my…," he took hold of her waist, and the rest of her, "… wife. The most…"

She put her hand over his mouth again, "Hold the schmooze until I can decide if this is a good choice or not. You will be amply rewarded for pleasing me!"

"Likewise, I'm sure," he grinned.

"Oh, get off you flatterer," she batted him away, then grabbed his hand. "Come on, let's see how great this place is," she tugged him towards the TARDIS doors.

They were greeted by bright sunlight, a dazzling waterfall, a glittering pool and a form of vegetation that closely resembled grass except it was rounder in shape when you examined the leaves. "Well, what do you think?" he almost bounced up and down in his excitement.

"Oh, Doctor! It's beautiful!" she gasped. "Thank you, thank you!" she threw herself into a hug.

"Told you!" he crowed. "Shall we go exploring?"

"Is the Pope Catholic?" she rhetorically asked him. She ran forward to the edge of the pool, turning to hold out her hand towards the Doctor, "Come and tell me about the fish in here. Blimey! There are loads in there!"

He delightedly told her all he knew, and probably made up the rest she strongly suspected, but she was in too good a mood to care. They strolled around the edge, exclaiming over various bits and pieces they saw, relishing the sheer joy of being together in a place without danger and so much beauty.

Inevitably it was too good to last; and a sudden wind whipped up that threatened to toss them into the water. "This way!" yelled the Doctor as he spied a cave near the waterfall. He took a firm grasp of Donna and pulled her towards safety.

"Well, this is new," Donna considered their circumstances. "Don't think we've been holed up in a cave before. I can't complain I'm not experiencing something new here."

The Doctor investigated their surroundings with his sonic screwdriver, "Definitely can't say that; though this isn't my first cave, not by a long chalk."

Having seen his demeanour Donna noted, "I take it I don't want to know who with then." Getting no spoken response to that, she took a deep breath, "Okay, that answers that one." She fiddled with the buttons on the front of her blouse, "Found anything I might need to know about? Bears, bats, spiders, lost treasure of the Incas? The path to Narnia, or maybe the centre of the earth? To think people in Cooper Pedy do this sort of thing all the time, though their caves looked nicer on the telly."

"Why are you babbling so much?" the Doctor enquired from his position at the other end of the cave, "You're not frightened are you?" There was a pause. "Are you?"

"No. Why would I be scared of a cold, dark, damp cave that is probably home to all sorts of creepy crawlies or weird snakes?" she shrugged. "Nothing odd is going to happen in here. Of course, it isn't… Oh my God! What was that? Something just moved over there!"

"Where?" he came back to her. "Tell me where it moved."

"It was right there… right by that… Argh! What is it?" she screamed, hurting his left ear.

"I don't know. Let's have a look…," he started towards the movement but something stopped him. "Donna! Stay back!"

"Don't you worry! I have no intention of going anywhere near whatever it is," she promised.

"Thank you, darling!" he retorted.

"No problem… erm…sweetheart!" she replied.

"Can I change that order? Come and help me, please. I need a hand," he pleaded.

"You soon changed your tune! What is it? Grabbed, paralyzed or poisoned this time?" she asked.

"I'd say it was more of the grabbed variety," he looked down, "though biting is involved."

"What? I have to bite you? That's a bit kinky! Though you do have an Edward Cullen vibe at times," she scoffed.

"No, I've been bitten, you stupid…," his voice trailed off as he noticed her glare.

"Don't start the insults with me, Sunshine, 'cos it won't wash!" she warned. "Especially if you want me to get you out of it."

"Yes dear!" he mocked, "Now come and help me before I have to gnaw my own leg off!"

"Now I'd pay good money to see that neat trick!" she laughed as she made her way towards him. "Any idea how I can extract you this time?"

"Point the sonic at the bottom of the tubers; that should do the trick. After that, I shall need some special care," he handed her the sonic.

"What do you mean 'special care'? And please note that I didn't make the obvious joke there," she used the sonic to release his legs. "At least it isn't an aphrodisiac this time. Bit cold in here for that."

"No, it isn't that," he answered with tears in his eyes.

She looked at him with concern; "Is it that painful?" she took his head in her hands and kissed him tenderly.

"I'm not good enough for you," he stated.

"Well I wasn't going to say but…" She suddenly looked shocked, "Oh my God! You actually think that!"

"I'll never be good enough for you. You're so wonderful," he whimpered as tears spilled down his cheeks.

She pulled him into a hug, "Come on, Spaceman, let's get you home to the TARDIS, eh? I'll make you a large mug of hot chocolate, and I'll open that tin of Danish cookies Mum gave me."

"You shouldn't bother with me, I'm only getting in the way," he told her forlornly.

"Now that's not true, and you know it!" she pulled away to take hold of his arm. "Just what I need, a despair inducing squid monster straight out of Red Dwarf. Bloody psychotic-drugging alien life forms buggering up my day!" she muttered under her breath as she tried to push him out of the cave.

"I'm sorry, Donna, I didn't mean to make you angry," the Doctor cried.

She kissed him tenderly, "I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with the thing that did this to you. I'm going to take you home, and back to where we belong, okay?"

She got him to fish out a handkerchief from the depths of his pockets and put it to use. Fortunately he was able to find the way back to the TARDIS without too much trouble, though they had to stop a few times for her to reassure him he was still welcome to stay with her.

It was hard work for her to stay so positive with him, it went against all her principles a lot of the time; and she had to bite her tongue from uttering loads of snappy comebacks to his grievances. She just hoped that St Peter was making a note of all this in his big book of deeds.

"Sit right there," she ordered him as they entered the kitchen in the TARDIS. "I'll make a start on that hot chocolate, and then I'll bring you the cookies. They should cheer you up." Normally she wouldn't feed him so much sugar in one go, but when needs must, and all that!

He began to look a bit more like his usual self after a few minutes and after half the tin had been eaten; but Donna was happy to see the improvement. She wasn't sure if she could cope with a constantly emo Doctor. It was bad enough when he did his Tigger impression.

"Donna, I…," he began yet another apology; she almost knew the script off by heart now.

"Doctor, I know what you are going to say so you don't need to say it, okay? I can live without going skinny dipping on my honeymoon or any other holiday, so don't worry about it. The place you've brought us to is gorgeous, seeing that waterfall was worth it all on its own, so no more apologies." She gave in to the urge to wipe the stray bits of hot chocolate on his face sure in the knowledge that he must be enjoying her ministrations, "If you still want to skinny dip, how about we do that here?"

"Oh, you mean the pool! Donna, you are brilliant!" his mood lightened considerably.

"What can I say? I have my moments," she beamed at him. "One slight problem though… you're going to have to tell me exactly where it is."

"I can do better than that! I'll take you there now," he grabbed her hand and began to drag her down the corridor. They found the pool with ease in a large, cavernous room filled with beautiful mosaics of mermaids.

"Aren't you supposed to wait a while after eating? For safety reasons before you swim?" she queried. The blue depths were enticing her to jump in.

"Not me! Time Lord remember," he pointed to his chest.

"As if I could ever forget!" she snickered.

"Oi!" he protested. "Just for that," he picked her up, "we're going in together."

"But our clothes will get wet!" Donna complained.

"They'll dry," he insisted.

"Yes, but they won't be as much fun to take off wet, will they?" she gleamed at him.

"Good point," he agreed whilst putting her down. "How about we," his hands moved to her buttons, "help each other out?"

"I like your thinking," she went for his tie first.

They squealed with delight when they eventually jumped in, hand in hand, after Donna had fought off his attempts to throw her in and they came to a compromise. The Doctor was jubilant as he swam around, showing off and making a grab for her in equal measures, while Donna fondly watched his antics.

"Don't you think our ship is wonderful?" he bobbed up to ask her.

"I certainly do!" she agreed. "All that's missing is some water toys and drinks." To Donna's joy and amazement an inflatable chair drifted near her and a tray of cocktails appeared by the pool. "You gorgeous thing you!" she yelled out in thanks. Her next half hour was spent lounging in the floating chair sipping Malibu through a fancy straw.

The Doctor's bedraggled head appeared in front of her. "Where do you fancy going to next?" he took hold of her ankles and pulled her in.

"You prawn! Good job I'd finished drinking that!" she admonished him. His apologising action was welcomed, however, as she let him manoeuvre them to the side of the pool where the ornamental steps were. "You'd better not be planning to do my back in on these things," she advised him.

"Would I even think of such a thing? Picture of perfect innocence me!" he pointed to his face.

"Do I take it you're bored then?" she waited for his reaction, pleased that he sat her on the steps.

"Just a bit, though I'm glad there's no despair squid thing in here," he looked around the pool area. "That experience turned out to be a smidge embarrassing."

"More than that time on…" but she was stopped mid-sentence by him this time, by having a wet hand clamped over her mouth.

"We agreed!" his glare warned her that his threat would be carried out. "Remember?"

She silently giggled underneath his hand, unable to answer properly. Once he'd released her mouth, she asked, "Are we attempting to go somewhere else for our honeymoon, or are we staying in here? Only, I was thinking… there must be an awful lot of rooms in here that we could explore."

"True," he helped her stand up and climb out of the pool, "but some rooms demand repeat visits."

"Should I draw up a list, put star ratings and all that jazz?" Donna offered.

"I think a five star visit to the bedroom is on the cards first," his reason evident as he started to kiss her sensuously.

"And then we'd better plan a home visit afterwards," she returned his kiss but saw his enthusiasm falter. "I will have to tell them."

"I know, but can we…?" the Doctor wasn't a man, or Time Lord, to be deterred from a task once he'd set his mind on it.

She weaved her hands into his hair to bring his mouth back to her's, "Have to get our priorities straight first, don't we? That's if you think you are good enough for me."

"Do I have to argue the point now?" he possessively led her from the pool room. "Only I may have to put my husband-y foot down. Or would you prefer to be dragged to the boudoir?"

"And if that doesn't make it sound like a tart's palace nothing will! Go on then! You've talked me into it; but not the dragging bit," she let him lead her away.

"You do realise that I'll be expecting to be fed again later?" he teased.

"I know, I know; a woman's work is never done," she retorted.

They happily bantered all the way to the bedroom, and beyond.

.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary:** The Doctor and Donna have accidentally married and are making a home visit to tell Sylvia and Wilf.

**Disclaimer:** The BBC owns Doctor Who; always have, and probably always will.

* * *

**Chapter 3 - My Kingdom For A Web Cam**

Donna toyed with the Doctor's sideburns, running her fingertips across his cheek and down over his lips, playfully pressing the tip of his nose.

"Have you stopped playing with my face?" he softly asked, smiling broadly at her.

"Might have," she teased. "I might be doing it to make you keep your promise."

He pulled her mouth closer to his, "And what promise was that exactly?"

"Your promise," she kissed his lips briefly, "to visit Gramps."

"Oh that!" he captured her lips. "I remember saying something like that."

"Good! 'Cos I'm holding you to it," she returned the kiss. "Now be a good husband and set the coordinates."

"There's no 'obey' in the wedding vows anymore," he pointed out.

"In the Church of England ceremony maybe, but we had an Atreen ceremony, so I've no idea what vows I made," she laughed.

"We could go back and find out?" he offered.

"Or we could just look it up in a book," she countered.

"Yes, there is that option," he agreed, "might be a bit quicker in fact."

"I'm glad I made you see sense. Now about this trip?" she tried again.

"Okay, I'll do it! Is a Wednesday night okay?" he considered her.

She swatted his arm, "You cheeky so and so! You think I know don't what you're up to! Trying to avoid my mum like that! Tsk!"

"It was worth a try, wasn't it?" he smirked. "I haven't forgotten that she can wield an axe when it takes her fancy!"

"I could point out that was a 'life or death' situation, but I don't think I'll bother in the circumstances," she snickered. "Frightened of my mum! I don't know! You face hoards of scary monsters every day of the week but you're frightened of my mum!"

"What I'm frightened of," he nibbled her earlobe, "is that she'll talk you into staying away from me."

"Pfft, as if that would happen!" she scoffed. "I intend to keep you in hand for as long as possible."

"You do realise what you just said then don't you?" he waggled his eyebrows at her.

"Go and set those coordinates!" she laughingly ordered him.

"Yes dear!" he teased. He let go of her and made for the central control, punching in the required coordinates.

The TARDIS materialised by the back gate of Sylvia's home, narrowly missing her begonias. The Doctor hesitantly opened the TARDIS doors, peering up at the imminent storm clouds with a worried frown. "It's not looking good!" he called back to Donna.

She appeared by his side with a small bag of souvenirs she'd picked up. "We're still going in, Spaceman! You can't pull out now," she gave his cheek a consoling peck.

"Oh, all right!" he conceded, taking hold of her hand. "But if an alien invasion takes place suddenly I can't promise I won't respond!"

"A lot of things won't respond if there's an unwelcome end to this visit," she threatened him. "Come and face the music!" she tugged on his hand, leading him towards the front door.

"Yes dear!" he mocked.

"And none of your larks in front of my mother!" she warned him. "Not if you want to keep that pretty head of yours."

"You think I'm pretty?" he smirked. "You've never told me this before."

"That's 'cos I'm merely repeating what I've overheard, so don't get your hopes up," she smiled at him.

"If I recall, you said I'm the most gorgeous man you'd ever seen," he pulled her to him as they reached the door.

She reddened, "And as I recall, I was drugged at the time. I don't think that counts in the circumstances."

"Keep telling yourself that, love," he whispered, as Wilf's silhouette appeared through the glass.

"Donna! Doctor! Come in, the pair of you! I've just put the kettle on, so go on through!" Wilf hugged Donna and clasped the hand of the Doctor. "Sylvia is upstairs, so she won't be long."

Donna grasped the Doctor's shaking hand, and led him through to the kitchen diner. "How you been, Gramps?" she sat them down together at the kitchen table and watched Wilf fiddle with the kettle excitedly. "Did you get my camcorder messages okay?" she asked hesitantly.

"Did I?" Wilf chuckled. "I'm thinking of selling that last one to that late night channel!" he was rewarded with both Donna and the Doctor blushing profusely at his words, with horrified expressions. "Now now, none of that!" Wilf chided, "I'm just having a little fun with you both!"

"So you're okay with the whole…," Donna swivelled her index finger between her and the Doctor.

"Okay? I'm delighted!" Wilf ran forward to hug her again. "Congratulations the pair of you!" He turned to hug the Doctor. "Now where's this ring you wanted to show me?" Donna lifted up her ring finger to show off the Atreen wedding ring. "Oh Donna! That's lovely!"

"What's lovely?" came the voice of Sylvia from the doorway. She did a double take, "Is that an engagement ring I see?" She looked questioningly at Donna, "Don't tell me you've gone and got engaged to _that_ man!"

"Alright, Mum, I haven't got engaged to the Doctor. Are you happy now?" Donna gave the Doctor a small smirk and took his arm, "Mum, I'd like you to meet my husband."

"Your what?" asked Sylvia faintly as she clutched at her throat.

"That's right, my husband," emphasised Donna.

Sylvia sunk into the nearest chair. "But Donna…," she looked bewilderingly between the two of them. "You went and married the Doctor? When? How? Why?" Sylvia's voice grew louder with each question. "_Him_? Of all the men in the world you went and married _him_? You couldn't have chosen that nice bloke who drove the BMW, Harry's cousin or Sanjeev 'round the corner? Of all the people, _him_!" Sylvia was standing again now and had moved nearer Donna.

The Doctor pushed the now trembling Donna behind him, "Yes, she married me! Do you have a problem with that Sylvia because I hope you don't?" He glared back at Sylvia, defying her to badmouth him to his face.

"YES I DO!" Sylvia sneered at him. "You're nothing but trouble! Look what happened last time you came. Dad almost died in that car! And all you could do was fiddle about with the engine before taking Donna off with you again" Sylvia's voice broke on the last bit.

"Mum! Stop it," Donna came to stand next to the Doctor, taking hold of his hand, taking and giving strength.

"No, Donna, it's okay," the Doctor told her softly. "Let your mum get it off her chest. She has things she needs to say and she won't leave you be until she does."

"Too right I have things I want to say!" Sylvia almost spat at them. "You young lady don't know what's good for you! And as for you," she aimed at the Doctor, "you do nothing but…"

"But what, Sylvia? Love your daughter? Honour and cherish her? All the things you have difficulty doing?" his tone was low and menacing. He placed a careful kiss on Donna's cheek, "If you want the absolute truth, the wedding wasn't planned to annoy you, or embarrass you or anything else. In fact it wasn't planned at all! But I don't regret it, not one jot!" He tenderly kissed Donna again, wrapping his arms around her.

Sylvia screwed her face up in disgust. "You say that now, but you'll be abandoning her like all the rest did," she turned from the sight in front of her. "You mark my words!"

"Why would I want to abandon Donna?" he looked incredulously at her. "Oh Sylvia, if only you could see."

"See what? What do you mean?" Sylvia asked, her tone less harsh now.

His full attention was on Donna now, "How amazing your daughter is; she is beautiful, clever and loving. She is brilliant." He caressed her cheek whilst focusing on her blue eyes, mesmerised by her.

Sylvia was hypnotised by his words and actions. There was no doubt in her mind that the man standing before her loved her daughter, that he meant what he said; and for once Sylvia felt that Donna was safe with him. She choked back a sob. "Are you happy, Donna?"

"Yes, Mum, I am. I'm very happy," Donna answered her mother simply, but she kept her attention on the Doctor.

Fearing that the pair of them were about to kiss, Sylvia quickly put in, "Have you made that tea yet, Dad? We'll be spitting feathers if we have to wait much longer!"

Sensing this was the nearest Sylvia would get to congratulating them for the time being; Donna shyly smiled at the Doctor and turned to help her grandfather by laying out the mugs and fetching the milk from the fridge. Wilf smiled indulgently at her, "Alright, Sweetheart?"

Donna kissed his cheek, "Never better, Gramps."

"Well, sit down Doctor, don't stand on ceremony. Donna, there's a new packet of chocolate Hob Nobs in the cupboard by your head. Get them out would you please?" Sylvia ordered.

The Doctor shared a secret smile with Donna, assured that they had won a small triumph. They all sat and shared the celebratory biscuits, and Donna was able to show off her wedding ring to her mother. "Look inside it, Mum," Donna passed the ring to her.

"Nothing but squiggles, Donna!" Sylvia chuckled. "Is it Elvish or something, like in Lord of the Rings?"

"Yeah, something like that," confirmed Donna, as she slipped the ring back on and shared a knowing look with the Doctor. He reached across and took her hand, rubbing his thumb against the cool metal. Sylvia actually smiled at the movement.

"How did he propose?" Sylvia asked. Wilf's eyes danced merrily as he waited for their reply.

"Ah, well…" Donna began.

"That would be letting out all my secrets at once!" put in the Doctor. He kissed Donna's hand. "But the ceremony was unforgettable." Donna had to hold in a laugh at that one.

"Why weren't we invited to the wedding? What were you thinking by not having us there?" Sylvia softly chided.

"It happened so suddenly and so far away we never had the chance to tell anyone," admitted Donna. "We never even had wedding photos taken," she suddenly realised, and threw the Doctor a questioning look. "Did we?"

"Are you asking to re-do the ceremony here in front of your family and everyone?" the Doctor looked slightly horror struck.

"Could we? Should we? No?" Donna looked around the table. "Would it be totally daft?"

"Donna, I…," the Doctor started to think of a way out of this scenario.

"Your face! What a picture!" Donna sniggered. "Oh, that was priceless!"

"I don't think it's totally daft," Sylvia pointed out. "I'd love to see my only daughter get married properly."

"I tell you what, Sylvia," the Doctor smiled at her, "I'll see what we can arrange. How's that?"

Donna looked at him in disbelief. But Sylvia looked at him as if he were the Messiah, "Oh Doctor! Thank you!" She even got up to kiss him on the cheek before depositing her mug in the sink.

"On that note, I think we'll head home. Are you ready, Donna?" he held out his hand to her, and pulled her up.

They said their good-byes, giving hugs all round, with promises to return soon and then made their way back towards the TARDIS. Donna leant against the coral as the Doctor punched in the dematerialisation procedure.

"You are amazing at times," she grinned broadly at him.

"You've only just realised," he teased with false modesty.

"No, but you manage to keep it under wraps a lot of the time," she sashayed towards him, enjoying the spark of interest it enticed.

"I'm not the only one keeping something under wraps," he grabbed hold her gently and brought her in close to whisper next to her ear, "so take it off."

She felt a shiver of arousal pulsate through her. "I'm not sure I can do that on my own," she breathed back.

"Need a helping hand?" his fingers moved towards her buttons. "Only, I'm available for the next hour or so."

"Is that all? I was hoping for something more… well, longer term," she began to undo his shirt buttons.

"Ah, you see, I'm taken, sorry. I'm married to this wonderful woman," he slipped her shoulder free and kissed it, "with the most gorgeous body," his lips found her neck, "and I'd never cheat on her."

"Too bloody right you wouldn't!" she scoffed, "unless you want to wear your testicles as cufflinks!"

"Do they do that these days? Mount them on cufflinks?" he pondered next to her earlobe.

"Apparently! Make a pretty good job of them too!" she laughed. "Are you thinking of having it done then?"

"Good god, no!" he exclaimed. "I'd prefer a working pair!"

"Wouldn't we all?" she agreed. "So you're not going to cheat on me?"

"No, never!" he declared.

"Good! Glad we got that one sorted!" she murmured. "All we have to do now is arrange another wedding."

"Can we arrange something else first?" he brought his mouth back round to capture her lips.

"What were you thinking of?" she asked between kisses.

"Another trip to the bedroom to add to your list," he added after a while.

"How many stars this time?" she went for his belt.

"Five stars and counting!" he picked her up with ease and headed for the bedroom.

"Just to make things clear, can I be Jane and you Tarzan this time?" Donna enquired.

"You saucy little minx!" he laughed; their glee could be heard right down the corridor.

.


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning:** Contains the usage of mild swear words and scenes of a honeymoon nature.

**Summary:** The Doctor and Donna have accidentally married, made a home visit to tell Sylvia and Wilf, and promised a wedding ceremony. This is sort of a response to Travellers' Tales Prompt #10 – 'obvious' at doctor_donna.

**Disclaimer:** The BBC owns Doctor Who; always have, and probably always will.

**A/N:** This was written at the request of the lovely sczep84 and bacon_fiend.

* * *

**Chapter 4 - Of Marriage and Men**

"Donna!" complained the voice on the other end of the phone, "when are you coming home for the wedding party?" Donna held the offending phone away from her ear to give it a chance to dry from the sweat that had built up there.

"Mum! Will you stop worrying! Isn't it obvious? If the Doctor said we will come home and have a wedding of some sort, then we will! I just don't know exactly when!" she tried not to glare at the phone, but her mother's change of heart towards the Doctor was spooking her out!

She successfully ended the conversation and went to seek out the Doctor. He was examining a large tomb in the library. "Ah, there you are!" he greeted her. Donna felt she could never get enough of his greeting kisses, especially when they started to slip further into 'more than welcome' country. "How did the phonecall go?" he asked eventually, when he thought to.

"Mum wants to know when we'll fix this wedding thing to happen," she stammered out, caught unawares by the lack of kissage. "What were you doing?"

"I think I was kissing you, but I might have been mistaken," he drily quipped.

"You prawn!" she swotted his arm playfully. She didn't want to damage the goods after all! "I meant the book?"

"Oh that! Looking up Atreen customs and ceremonies to see if we…," he hesitantly began.

"If we…?" prompted Donna. "Come on, what are you worried about?"

He took hold of her shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes, "There is a small possibility that we might not be legally married."

"What?" Donna shrieked. "But I've got the ring and everything! Don't do this to me!"

"It seems we have a second level marriage but not a third level marriage," he stated.

"And what the hell does that mean?" she demanded. He tried to console her by rubbing patterns on her skin.

"I don't know yet. I have to read my way through all this," he gestured towards the book.

"But surely a marriage is a marriage, no matter what the level?" she anxiously looked at him. A grin began to spread across his features. "You'd better not be joshing with me!" she threatened.

"No, it isn't that!" he tried to appease her. "It's just… well… I never thought I'd have to comfort you about being married to me, that you'd want to be married to me!"

Donna blushed. "I never said I wanted…"

"Oh yes you did!" the Doctor beamed. He wrapped his arms back round her, hugging her tightly, "I think you rather like all this marriage business now." He kissed her, "Admittedly you took a little persuading…" he caressed her body, "but we seem to…," he nibbled at her ear, "have come to an agreement."

His warm breath was playing havoc with her willpower. "How about you double check then about the legality of what you're doing," she mumbled, though she had intended to deliver that order with more strength.

"Oh I'm sure what I'm doing to you is perfectly legal, no matter where we are," he worked his way down to her neck, and Donna could see things were heading south.

"I didn't mean like that, Timeboy! I meant marriage-wise." She ran her hands through his hair, glorifying in its softness.

"I thought that's what you meant," he chuckled. "Do you really want me to stop what I'm doing, only it could spoil the moment." He flashed her a cheeky grin from near her cleavage.

"Hmm, tempting! You know, I'm not that worried right now! Shall we resume play, or do we need to keep the covers on?" she giggled. "Was it a good innings, or were you bowled out for a duck?"

"No, we're breaking for tea I thought," he snickered. He took hold of her top, "And I definitely don't think we need to keep the covers on! What's that expression your granddad uses? Oh yes! Let the dog see the rabbit!"

"I don't know how to take that! Rabbit indeed. I could sue you for deformation of character!" she began to make quick work of his buttons. "Makes me sound all…"

"Shaggable?" he offered. "With your little rabbit nose, and your snuggableness." He attempted to undo her trousers, and her impatience got the better of her.

"Just…!" she took charge of the operation. "Now what were you saying?"

"No idea!" he admitted. "Something to do with a duck was it?" he pulled her down onto a sofa. "Oi! That isn't cricket, is it?" he exclaimed as she batted his hands away from her bra clasp.

"I should bloody well hope not!" she smirked at him. "What's the hurry? Been giving out more appointments again?"

"I keep everything for you, you know that! Now let me give you a thorough examination. Trust me, I'm a doctor!" he made for the clasp again, this time succeeding.

"You'd better be bloody good then!" she attached herself to his neck.

"Oh, I think I can safely say that I get good results," he claimed as he captured her lips again and continued his…erm... examination.

After they had exchanged tissue samples, they snuggled together and considered the marriage question again. "Do you think we ought to do the whole ceremony for Mum, or should we do some pseudo stuff instead?" Donna pondered.

"Like what exactly?" he asked.

"Like one of those naturist things." Seeing his stricken expression, she adjusted that reply, "I mean nature-loving not nudist! God forbid! Can you imagine standing starkers in front of a bunch of strangers? How embarrassing!"

"Sorry, I'm having trouble getting beyond you being starkers! What was the rest of that?" he teased. He snuggled closer into her, "Waving about willow branches seems a bit bizarre, but if that's what you want…"

"It could be beautiful," Donna argued.

"Or it could be bug-ridden," he pointed out. "You don't need all that really, do you? We need something simple that announces we're married."

"How about a karaoke?" she suggested. But his groan answered that one. "Oh, I don't know! It's all so complicated when you've already done the deed. And I don't mean _that_ deed, Sir Smirkalot!"

"I've no idea what you mean!" he tried out his innocent look. "What exactly was your mum hoping for?"

"A church blessing, I suppose; virtually a proper wedding," she admitted. "Do we want that?"

"I don't know. You tell me! Do you want the whole white meringue experience? Or something more subtle?" he quizzed her.

"You're going to kill me for this, but I rather fancy the meringue. I know, I know, I said I didn't, but that was to please you. Are you annoyed with me?" she looked at him hesitantly.

"No, not really," he kissed her tenderly. "Whatever you want you can have, as long as we don't have to do it naked. The church bit I mean; we can save the nakedness for our alone time, can't we?"

She hugged him gleefully, "Thank you, thank you thank you! Mum will be ecstatic! I bloody love you!"

"Careful, I may make you prove that!" he turned them on the sofa, and got his proof.

* * *

Sylvia fussed around Donna. "Now, have you got your borrowed?" Donna lifted up the borrowed shoes. "Your new?" Donna showed her the new crucifix at her throat. "And your blue?"

"Mum, I am not flashing you my knickers! Just take my word for it when I tell you I'm wearing them!" Donna glared, before softening her expression, "Thanks, Mum, for everything!"

Sylvia kissed the seated Donna on the head, "You're welcome. Did the best man turn up after all?"

"I think so. The traffic from Cardiff was diabolical apparently," Donna sighed. "You do like him, don't you Mum?"

"What? The best man? I haven't met him yet!" Sylvia replied.

"No silly! I mean the Doctor. He's not all bad, is he?" she asked.

Sylvia gently patted Donna on the cheek, "No, not all bad. I've grown quite fond of him, but don't tell him that!" They shared a smile. "Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be!" Donna stood and looked in her full length mirror, "Blimey! I wash up well!"

"You look beautiful!" Sylvia wiped a tear from her eye. "He's a very lucky man."

"That's one way to describe him," Donna scoffed. "'Loop' would be another, or madder than a box of frogs."

Wilf appeared in the bedroom doorway, "Oh my gawd! You look…" He welled up and pulled Donna into a hug. "Not many men are good enough for my gal. Good luck," he whispered.

"Thanks Gramps," she pulled out of the embrace. "Let's get this show on the road, eh?"

She lifted up her long skirt and made her way down the stairs, out the front door, waved to the assembled neighbours, tried gracefully to get in the hired car, and rode towards the church.

* * *

It was weird to turn up to the same church as before. It wasn't much to look at from the outside; seen one church seen them all! But the inside was gorgeous. Sylvia and her elves and weaved their magic, making sure there were blooms everywhere, tied up with fancy bows. It was a sight to behold. It also made the Doctor feel quite queasy with the overkill, but he thought it best to keep that thought to himself. Things had gone reasonably well up to that point; Jack had arrived in time, suited and booted, and teasing him terribly about wedding nights, much to his embarrassment. He wished Donna were there to sort him out. The thought of Donna doing so later on made him feel much better, and Jack look at him questioningly as he chuckled. "Are you okay?" Jack asked in a low voice.

"I'm alright. I'm always alright," the Doctor couldn't resist stating; but the irony was lost on Jack, and it made him pang for Donna again. "How long she going to be?"

"Shouldn't be long now," Jack consoled him, "I think I see…" The Wedding March immediately began, causing them both to exchange happy grins.

Donna had described the dress to him, but the Doctor couldn't wait to see how it looked on her. He gasped as he caught his first glimpse. They'd decided against having any bridesmaids, so it was just Donna and a proud Wilf walking down the aisle towards him. She was radiant! His fingers itched to caress her skin, and her usual fragrance hit him with the subtle addition of something else.

She swept up next to him and he had to resist the urge to kiss her immediately; they'd had an extensive discussion about what behaviour would be acceptable in front of the congregation and what wouldn't be, fortunately he had a good memory because the list had been quite long. Before he realised it the vicar had begun his speech, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bless this union…" The rest of it he zoned out during. Of course he listened enough to give the correct replies to the oaths, but his attention was on Donna, what he'd like to do to/with Donna, and what he could possibly get away with.

Donna had caught his expression and knew he was slightly away with the fairies; but she understood that all of this wasn't for his benefit, and loved him for making the effort. She also liked the gleam in his eyes as he stood gazing at her, as if she were the only woman in creation. Yes, she could learn to love that look quite a lot. She gave a delighted shiver as she wondered what he had planned for later. Oh yes, there was the look she really loved: the naughty one. She gave her required response, and the vicar finished with a flourish, "I now pronounce them still husband and wife!"

The Doctor saw his chance to grab her into a kiss, and made the most of it, luxuriating in the taste of her lips. "Save some for later!" Jack whispered into his ear, making the people nearby laugh, but the Doctor chose to ignore him. It was his wedding-blessing thing, and he was going to enjoy it! Luckily Donna had pre-planned things enough to be wearing a non-smudgeable lipstick; otherwise they'd both be wearing lipstick as a foundation.

The vicar patiently waited for them to finish before announcing to the congregation, "I give you the not quite new Doctor and Donna Noble!" to which everyone clapped heartedly, even Nerys. The Doctor escorted Donna towards the church doors where the photographer was already taking several pictures.

All the posing outside the church was a bit of a bind for the Doctor, but he was on his best behaviour, and was extremely attentive towards Donna. Sylvia could not have been happier as she watched the proceedings. And Wilf stood as pleased as punch in his photos. It all went rather well. Finally, the photographer had done his job, and people started to head back towards Sylvia's house.

"Are you ready to meet and greet up-close Mrs Noble?" the Doctor asked Donna.

"Before we go any further, Spaceman, can I just say one thing?" Donna looked at him pensively.

"Of course you can. What is it?" he was worried by her tone.

"I feel sick!" Donna declared, and she ran to the nearest available bush to vomit behind it.

"Oh. My. God! Isn't it obvious? She's pregnant!" Sylvia squealed loudly.

.


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning:** Contains scenes of a honeymoon and custard nature.

**Summary:** The Doctor and Donna have accidentally married, made a home visit to tell Sylvia and Wilf, and promised a wedding ceremony.

**Disclaimer:** The BBC owns Doctor Who; always have, and probably always will.

**A/N: **This was written at the request of bio_damped, and sort of as a response to Travellers' Tales prompt # 12 - chemistry at doctor_donna.

* * *

**Chapter 5 - The Night After the Wedding**

The Doctor look at Sylvia dumbfounded. His lips echoed the words "she's pregnant" but no sound came out. He made a dash towards Donna's almost prone figure as she emptied her stomach, taking care to help her keep the veil and dress out of harm's way.

"Are you alright?" he enquired, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe her mouth clean.

She smiled weakly up at him, "Must have been something I ate. I feel much better now."

"Is this the first time you've been sick?" he asked, helping her to extract herself from the bush area.

"No, I've been sick before!" she threw him a disgruntled look. "Oh, you mean recently! No, no I haven't, it just came on suddenly."

"Maybe we should…erm…," he glanced back towards where Sylvia stood, "check you over once we get home."

"Why? What do you suspect?" she looked tired and drawn he thought as he caressed her cheek.

"Nothing really, but I'd like to eliminate a few things," he admitted.

"Like what exactly?" she insisted.

He cleared his throat, "There is the remote possibility that you're…erm… pregnant." Seeing her shocked expression, he quickly added, "It isn't very likely but then again it isn't impossible; so I think we should check before…"

"Oh great! Just when I thought today was going quite well, I might have gone and got myself pregnant!" she told him indignantly.

"But I thought that you wanted…," he protested weakly.

"Yeah, well it's one thing wanting something and another thing actually being it!" Her expression softened as she looked into his stricken eyes, "Do I take it you rather hope I am?"

The Doctor did his trademark nervous neck rub act, "Now you mention it… yeah, I think I do!" His face split into a wide grin, he pulled her into a hug and buried his face in her neck. "I'm beginning to think it would be wonderful," he whispered.

"Now I truly know you are an alien and not a man!" Donna smirked. "No normal bloke would be pleased at this moment."

"As I keep telling you, I'm not normal!" he huffed.

"And as I keep telling you, stop giving me so much ammunition!" they laughed together. "Now about this meet and greet thing…"

"Ah yes! I'd forgotten about that for a moment," he resisted the impulse to kiss her sickie mouth, and went for her forehead instead. "Jack has the car ready and waiting."

"Is it the only thing Jack has ready and waiting?" she asked knowingly.

"Erm… might be. We'll have to wait and see," he took hold of her hand and wrapped it around his arm. "Shall I let you have the honour of any punishment?"

"Yes please!" she giggled. "I'll have to think carefully about what would pass as punishment for Jack."

He whispered something extremely naughty in her ear, and she swatted his arm exactly as he expected her to. Sylvia helped get her dress and veil neatly into the car; then they sat back and waited for Jack to announce the inevitable surprise he had for them.

"Well folks! What's it like being legal in two different galaxies?" Jack boomed his question at them from the driving seat, wearing his cheekiest grin.

"It feels… legal!" Donna laughed. "But I don't need to explain how feeling married is like to you, do I? I'm surprised you didn't bring a weevil or something with you for company!"

"No, I left them all back at the Hub. I thought the Doctor needed a break from all that!" Jack grinned.

"Thanks for that, Jack!" Doctor chuckled. "I knew you'd be good for something."

"I'm not just good, I'm _very_ good!" Jack quipped, making Donna laugh again.

"I may be asking for references later to prove or disprove that statement," she told him with mock authoritarian tones.

"How about I give you a demonstration instead?" Jack winked at her.

"Oi! My wife, Jack, not yours! Remember that, will you?" the Doctor interceded.

"Ooh! I love it when you're all masterful!" Donna snuggled into him and gave him a teasing smile. "What have you got planned for later?"

"Jack!" the Doctor admonished him before he even managed to open his mouth. Donna had to hide her face in his jacket to control her giggles.

Their meet and greet was to take place at Donna's mum's house; since they felt a grander venue was unnecessary. The Wednesday girls had put on a fantastic spread for them, Donna had to admit, and they all treated her like royalty. It made the day wonderful! Both the Doctor and Jack were working their way through the buffet, enjoying themselves enormously, but Donna was a bit sick of the sight of sausage rolls.

"Try one of these," Jack waved a plate underneath her nose. "They're delicious!"

Donna eyed whatever it was with suspicion. "Why? What have you put in them?"

"Nothing! I wouldn't try to poison you!" he protested.

"Not poison, no; but something else may be," she cautiously smelt the items on the plate.

"You really don't trust me, do you? After all this time!" Jack sulked.

"If I didn't know you had access to strong sedatives and retcon I'd be inclined to believe you!" Donna smirked. "But I'm not risking anything today."

"When will you risk it then?" he asked; but he never got an answer because Donna suddenly clamped her hand over her mouth and made a dash for the stairs.

Fortunately the bathroom was vacant when she reached it, and she emptied her stomach again. The Doctor arrived in the doorway seconds later, "Did it happen again? Are you okay? Do you want any help?"

"I could do with less questions and more answers," she replied from her folded position over the toilet pan. She didn't protest when he helped her to clean herself up, and handed her some toothpaste to get rid of the awful taste in her mouth. "Well…that was fun," she said sarcastically.

"Fun enough to do again?" he asked, as he tenderly washed her face with a flannel, before giving in to his earlier impulse to kiss her.

"Looks as though I might be. Do you think we ought to carry out that test now? As in right now rather than later now?" Donna had a sudden urge to get a definite answer to her pregnancy question.

"Come on then," he took hold of her hand. "I've moved the TARDIS into your bedroom."

"When did you do that?" she was impressed with his fore-thinking.

"Ah! That would be telling!" he gave her a mischievous grin. He led her into the bedroom, where the TARDIS stood in all her glory behind a perception filter. "I thought this way we'll get some privacy."

"I like the way you think," Donna told him delightedly. "Though why did you think we'd need extra privacy?"

"So that I could do this!" he swooped down to pick her up and carry her into the TARDIS once Donna clicked her fingers. "And I plan to ravish you till dawn!"

"That poor girl gets dragged into it all the time!" Donna joked. "Now, masterful husband, take me to your medbay."

"Certainly, dear!" he beamed at her. "Or would you care to try out the marital bed first?"

She screwed her face up in pretend consideration. "I've seen the marital bed before, so I'll try the medbay first, if that's okay with you?"

"Fine! Have it your way! The scenery in the bedroom is lovely this time of day," he placed her carefully on the medbay bed.

"Oh, I'm sure it is!" she giggled, "And I fully intend to view everything later! But let's get this out of the way first?"

"Okay. Open up!" he took a small swab of her mouth and placed it into a small tube and pressed a few buttons. Thirty seconds later the machine he stood next to pinged and printed out the result. He tried to read it without emotion, and he could feel Donna's eyes almost assaulting him with her curiosity. He smirked then handed her the paper.

Her face lit up, and her eyes shone with sudden tears. "I'm officially pregnant!" she announced softly. "It's true! We're going to have a baby!"

He wrapped his arms around her, and placed gentle kisses on her face. "What do you want to do now?" he whispered to her.

"I think we ought to celebrate by taking that trip to the marital bed you suggested, and then go back to the party afterwards," she told him.

"Sounds like a great plan to me!" he exclaimed. "We don't want to miss… anything." He reverently picked her up and carried her into their bedroom. "Is there anything in particular you want me to do whilst we're here?"

"Erm… shut the door?" Donna laughed as he tackled her neck and zip at the same time.

He kicked out at the door to shut it, "And now for the scenery…. Wow! I _love_ the bridal underwear!" He manoeuvred them onto the bed to investigate further.

"I don't think it'll suit you!" she grinned. "But you can try it on if you like."

"I'd rather try it on with you! Or I will once I get this thing undone. Why so many ribbons?" he pouted.

"What ribbons? I'm not wearing anything with ribbons!" she tried to sit up. "What on earth are you fiddling with?"

"There…that's got it!" he cried, which was followed by a bang! And an ominous cloud of yellow powder engulfed them. "What?" he surveyed the yellow tinge that coloured Donna and then himself, "What?"

"Jack?" suggested Donna, "With a custard powder bomb by the taste of it." She grabbed a tissue and spat a small bit out of her mouth into it.

"I was right. It does make you look stupid and funny!" he laughed. "How did Jack know about the custard?"

Donna looked sheepish, "I let that one slip, I'm afraid. Are you angry with me?"

"On a day like today? No!" he pulled her into his embrace. "It gives me something to lick off you," it amused him how Donna screwed her face up in disgust at that thought, "and we'll always remember what happened when we found out about the baby."

Donna halted him from capturing her mouth, "I think we need to shower first, don't you? Otherwise we'll end up with custard in places we won't expect."

"Mrs Noble, you have some wonderful ideas!" he whisked her off the bed and headed for the en suite.

"Thank you, Doctor Noble! I aim to please!" she started to undo his buttons.

The custard powder bomb turned out to be much more fun than any of the gunky monsters the Doctor had introduced them to. And Donna had the added bonus of thinking up a suitable punishment for Jack. All she had to do was work out where she could get her hands on a Herkon porcupine.

.


End file.
